Reflecting on Days Ever Fleeting.......

Just recently returned from a different world.  No, I don't travel the planets in my spare time.  I so enjoy singing.  I feel like my life is lived inside of a musical.  Many can attest to this one.  Well tonight I shared this gift and joy of mine with a group of wrinkled jewels.  I looked out on the audience.....some had their eyes closed, sneaking in a little nap.  A few tried to sing along.  One lady, quite young in fact, had suffered a stroke and really had no way to communicate.  Her tongue stuck out most of the time.  As our group began to sing out some of the old hymns, her lips moved along, without sound, but her mind remembered these songs.  We also enjoyed the company of Sue as she shared any thought that happened to come to mind.  Over and over again she declared her greatest hope, that Jesus would come down from the clouds this instant and take us all home to be with Him.  She told us that we just can't imagine how long the days feel in the nursing home.  Many of them had outlived most of their family members and now felt alone in the world.  They so look forward to visitors that care about them.  I spoke with one beautifully joyful lady, who seemed to have a heavenly glow upon her. She's coming upon her 101st birthday and I would've guessed that she hadn't lived a day over 80 years.  She told me her secret.....to live every day with a thankful heart.  She spends more time dwelling on the simple joys in life, rather than the disappointments.

What a wonderful gift to be able to spend time with these who know that their days are numbered.  They're ever thankful for every day, but greatly anticipating that greatest of days when they finally go home for eternity with our King!  I only pray that I can keep always the face of my King in front of me, remembering that life on this earth has an ending and I'm not guaranteed tomorrow.  With that thought in mind, what am I going to do with today?

Such a Monumental Day!!

  A decade has passed since nearly 700 of my classmates and I stood proudly, draped in fire-engine red gowns and proudly clasping our diplomas, signifying the completion of a large chapter in our lives.  What would we do next?  Questions loomed in front of us, shooting at us from every direction.  Some of us stood sure and confident, feeling like we had all the answers.  Others wished they could hide away in Neverland, avoiding the inevitable changes, not wanting to let go of childhood and be forced to learn the art of responsibility. 
  I guess I walked with the crowd of the sure and confident.  I would attend North Park University for four years, graduate with a degree in elementary education.  Then I would get married, have four kids and go off to some foreign land such as Kenya or India to teach.  Even though I had those specific ideas though, I wasn't thoroughly attached.  I just liked the thought of the future and the adventures that were sure to be found.  I would not settle for the mundane.
  Wow, 10 years surely have passed in a hurry.  Exactly a year after graduating from high school, I found myself in a completely different land.  I accompanied 5 other people from my college on a mission trip to Timisoara, Romania.  A land of contrasts stood in front of me; beautiful, fairy-tale like architecture and kids 5 and 6 years old, running around with dirty faces, bare feet and no supervision.  Spending weeks surrounded by these children who were in many ways like little adults, looking after themselves, trying to earn or steal enough to make it through another day.  My mother's heart felt broken, shattered in pieces.  I wanted to reach out my arms and hold each one.  I wanted to lift the invisible burdens off of their shoulders and let them run free.  9 years ago today, I was spending an unforgettable week with 15 of those street kids, out in the mountains in the middle of nowhere.  The moment they left the van, they became like little children again.  Running through the grass, smiling, breathing in the fresh air, kicking around a soccer ball, drinking fresh spring water.  I looked forward to each morning, eating breakfast with the five children that were assigned to my family group.  Pufta buna, we would tell one another, the equivalent of bon appetite.  I knew that my life could never be the same.  God had done a great work in my heart and solidified my resolve that I could never chase after the "normal" life.  Less than a year later I found myself in Texas, doing my DTS, getting prepared for full time ministry.  I've never looked back.  God's university has been quite different from the usual 4 year school, but what experiences He's allowed me to have!!
  Then 4 years ago, I celebrated alongside my sister Amy (also one of my best friends), as she pledged her life to a wonderful, brilliant man named Jadon!  Can in already have been four years?!?  The memories shine vividly in my mind.  Sweat rained down our faces as we stood outside for quite a long time, taking pictures, but we brought out little fans that provided some relief.  And we were a good humored bunch and cracked jokes, making one another laugh and forget about our discomfort.  I remember singing "Going to the Chapel" over Amy with all the other bridesmaids, and in beautiful harmony might I add.  All the while I kept asking myself if this was real.  But moments later we were walking down the aisle towards the stage and I knew we weren't playing house.  Amy was a beautifully joyful bride, savoring every minute of this day as she joined hands with her best friend.  Come what may, til death does them part, their arms are linked, their hearts are joined.  What a day, June 7th, what a day!!

Hitchhiking and I didn't even know it :)

With today being a holiday, I wondered how to spend the time.  I didn't make any plans and most people had gatherings to attend, so I wondered what I might do.  I got up at practically the crack of dawn and made a delicious batch of muffins and enjoyed a couple cups of coffee as I listened to the lovely melody the birds were tweeting outside of my window.  

God's been directing me to Psalm 37 the past couple of days and today we camped out in the 4th verse.  It's a familiar one for me and a promise I delight in and yet at the same time it causes me to wrestle.  I have many desires in my heart that remain unfulfilled.  God and I talked about that today.  He understands me in a way no one else ever could.  He reminded me of the Proverb that states: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."  Then He asked me how I would keep my heart from getting sick in this period of waiting.  After thinking about His question for a few minutes, I answered that I would keep my eyes on the fulfillment, but also remember the faithfulness of the One who made the promise.  In verse 3 of Psalm 37 it says to trust in the Lord and do good.  I need to constantly see Him for who He is, because then its not hard to trust when I remember all that He's done for me and as I watch Him at work in the lives around me.  

After a nice chat with Him, I decided it was time for some fresh air.  I can't stand being cooped up for too long.  The shorts, t-shirt, sunblock and sunglasses came out as I ventured into the thick 90 degree air.  Some friends stopped and offered to give me a ride, but since I had no destination in mind I said no thank you.  Less than 5 minutes later, some friends stopped me on their way to their annual family picnic.  They invited me to come along and without much thought I said yes.  When we arrived at the house in the woods, my friends announced that they had picked up a hitchhiker. :)  I had to laugh about that one.  What an amazing gift to be surrounded by family, some familiar and many new faces as well and lots and lots of food.  God knew my desire to spend time with people today.  It wasn't by any accident that I ran into my friends when I did.  What a blessing to know that He sees me and that He cares, even about the little things!

To everything there is a season....

It only takes a moment for life to completely change.  What do we take security in?  Everything around us can be stripped from us as quick as you can say hi and goodbye.  Sometimes it is for the good!  2 years ago exactly I was living in a place of expectation.  God had promised that He would bring me an open door.  What did that door lead to, I had no idea, but I knew from previous experience that He would make good of His promise.  At the time I had no job, but the very next day I had an interview to be a nanny in my hometown.  I loved my life out in Minnesota with my family close by, friends to share conversation and coffee with.  My friend Carrie and I had actually begun the preparation process of authoring a book together.  So many new opportunities spread themselves out in front of me.  I thought, life is good.  I was comfortable.

Then...........

I received a phone call from a friend I knew out in Texas.  I hadn't spoken with her in over a year, but I had a vague inclination of what she might ask me.  I didn't know if I wanted to take the call, to be honest.  Her husband and she had pioneered a YWAM base out in WV.  I knew that the call meant an invitation to join them.  But, but, but.  I don't want to be uprooted right now.  I'm doing fine right where I am.  Why now, God?  Why now?  Then I answered the phone and as we conversed I knew that this was not an invitation from Tracey, but rather God calling me to come away with Him.  Unknowns everywhere and only 3 months to prepare for my life to change completely.

But now, nearly 2 years since my arrival and I don't regret saying yes.  I took a walk today and marveled at the natural beauty all around me.  I took out my camera and joyfully documented my home.  WV is a part of me.  I didn't know this chapter would exist, but God is into surprises I've discovered and He isn't required to share every bit of our itinerary with me ahead of time.  I look around me and I don't see strangers, but I see my family.  I walk into the grocery store and I'm waved at and people say, "Hi, Katie."  Thank you God for inviting me on this journey.  I've discovered many treasures here and I feel rich! 

Staring a New Day in the Face :)

This is what I look forward to every morning.....a beautiful mountain view right outside of my living room window.  And if I decide not to snooze for too long, I even get a glimpse of the sunrise.  Sadly enough, I sometimes lie in bed, grumbling, not sure if the blankets should give up their hold of me quite yet.  Then I wonder why alarm clocks were invented and all the other random tangents my mind travels to. 

The past week or so, I've tried to make an effort to thank Jesus the moment my eyes open and enter the day talking with Him and pausing, as I sip on delicious coffee, to hear what He has to say.  This is a new adventure....surprises await.  These are quiet moments to drink in my Savior's love and draw strength from His Word and His promises!  I sit here, almost ready to climb into bed and I ponder all the ingredients that made up May 24th, 2012:

• A wonderfully productive day at the Crisis Pregnancy Center....mostly organizing the room that houses summer clothes.  That's a weight off my shoulders :)
• Wonderful conversation with a friend of mine.  I so appreciate her heart for God and the way she's always humbly asking questions, seeking to grow closer to Him.  I'm honored and humbled that she'd ask me for advice and allow me the opportunity to share with her some of my experiences.  
• Finished a flyer that shares about our upcoming Discipleship Training School!!  I am beyond excited for September 23rd to arrive so I can meet all of our students.  This school is a dream come true of mine :)
• Delighted in a wonderful spaghetti dinner 

• Made my apartment sparkle and shine!!  That's always a good feeling. 

Mixed  in with the activity were those quiet moments just to love on my King and be loved by Him.  So to my Best Friend, I love you so and I thank you for the journey of another day!!

The view I look forward to in the mornings!

The Cost of Following Christ.....

  Upon waking up yesterday, I sat down with my cup of coffee and read the 14th chapter of Luke.  In the midst of rubbing my eyes to push the sleepiness away, the words began to grip my heart.  I remembered reading this exact passage for the first time when I was just 16.  I had recently come to the realization that being a Christian was far more than just praying a prayer and having the security of knowing that I would spend eternity in heaven.  That year was one of transformation for me as I began to walk with Christ daily, understanding for the first time that this was a journey.  Every day an excitement would rise to the surface because I would be spending those hours with one who completely loves me.  I had no idea what the future held in store, but I was excited for the adventure.  A childlike faith filled me and I believed wholeheartedly that though I would come face to face with obstacles, God would get me through each one by His tender love and grace.  I know verses 25-35 are some of the most difficult in the Bible, especially when Jesus states, "Anyone who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple."  As a teenager those words pumped my heart with excitement.  Jesus was issuing a challenge to me and I was ready to accept that challenge, come what may.  I would often tell Him that I would follow Him anywhere and do anything.
  I'm writing this 12 years later, having experienced the storms and great tests that life presents, evaluating my initial commitment I made to Christ.  Our walk together has been more of a climb up a steep mountain at points, especially recently.  It sounds a little like this:

Jesus: I want you to come with me on an adventure to West Virginia!

Me: Why West Virginia?  You've given me such a heart for Asia and I'm feeling pretty comfortable here in Minnesota now.  Are you sure about this?

Jesus: Yes, just trust me.  I won't steer you in the wrong direction.  I know what I'm doing.

Me: (a little hesitantly) okay

Jesus, filled with joy wraps me in a tight embrace and then places my hand in His strong one and I walk into the unknown, alongside of my best friend.

Me: Jesus, I love it out here in West Virginia, but sometimes I get lonely for my family and friends that are scattered throughout the U.S.  And sometimes I just want my own husband and kids right beside me.  Can we speed this process up?

Jesus: Rest in me, Sweet One.  I'm writing a beautiful story, better than you can imagine.  Let me line up all of the details.  It will all come together when the time is right.  In the meantime enjoy what each new day has to offer.  You'll never get this time back.

Me: Jesus, money is a little tight right now.  I know you care about this area in my life and you've proved time and time again that you are able to provide.  What should I do?

Jesus: Trust me, I've got this under control!!  I want you to put $25 in the offering plate on Sunday.

Me: But God, are you sure.  I still need to buy groceries.  That sounds like a lot of money.

Jesus: Don't worry, I've got this!! (confident smile on his face)

Me: Okay, I'll do it.  I know somehow you're going to come through for me!

Later that day I came home to a box of groceries from an anonymous person.  Then a lady I barely know gave me a card with a $50 bill inside and I received a babysitting job that weekend where I earned $125!  I couldn't believe God's amazing generosity towards me!

Then the unexpected happened.  My lovely sister, Josie, who meant the world to me passed away.  Filled with questions, grief, and every emotion imaginable I returned to MN.  As I spent time in the company of friends and family, I wondered if maybe I should just move back and get a job and be near to my family.

Jesus: If anyone comes to me and does not hate (love less) his father, mother, wife, children, brothers and sisters-yes even his own life- he cannot be my disciple.  Katie, have my plans for you changed?  I know you're hurting, but are you going to choose your family over me?

Me: Ouch.....that hurts Jesus.

The words that had once filled me with excitement, now were being thrown at me and a bitter taste rose in my mouth.  Could I once again accept the challenge, though my world had been rocked and I just wanted to hide out for awhile?  The moment of decision had arrived.  A crossroads stood before me.

Me: (in a weak and shaky voice) I choose you Lord.  You are my life.  I don't ever want to part from you, but I'm going to need a lot of help.  This seems so hard.  Remind me constantly that you're near.

Jesus: (in a voice full of tenderness) You don't have to worry about that.  I've got a tight grip on you and I'm not letting go.  I love you Katie!!  You are mine!!  I'm so proud of you!!

  12 years of walking daily with Jesus and I can say with confidence that whatever comes my way, I will never be shaken.  He is more than enough for me!!  I love this life we're living together, hardships and all.  What a privilege to walk with Him.  That Jesus would invite me is astounding!!  Every storm we've come through, I've seen His beauty and strength more and more so.  His tight embrace, allows me to rest easily, knowing that He has things under control.  All I can say is thank you!!