All my ducks in a row.........

After my adventurous 3 days of fasting and praying, I wish I could say I had everything figured out. It always feels good to have the ducks all in a row. I went into those three days thinking that I would come out with my questions answered. That is not the case.

What did happen in that fast was a meeting between a flustered daughter and her confident, tender, patient Father. I joined with David, crying out saying, "As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for you, for the living God." I thanked Him for being "my refuge and strength, my very present help in trouble." I spent a lot of time trying my best to listen. Excitement for the coming days shot through my veins at some points. I also dove down into the depths at other intervals. Questions, questions, questions; they all seemed to beg for an answer at that precise moment, and yet they weren't satisfied in their quest. At times when God seemed silent, I reminded myself of who He is, reading and rereading some of my favorite Psalms and a few of the stories in the Gospels. A meltdown also greeted me at one point. God comforted me in a couple different ways. My cat Pippen came to cuddle while I cried a little. Then he wiped some of my tears with his front paws. I also talked with a friend, and even though they didn't know it, their encouragement sent my spirit soaring. It was so timely.
On the third day, I saw a picture of myself packing my suitcase in preparation. So that's what I'm going to do. I brought up my big purple suitcase from the basement. Now onto the task of sorting through my stuff, deciding what to take with me on this journey and what I can give away.
Thanks for all of your prayers. They really are a blessing! God is at work!! He's in the realm of the unseen right now and so I take another step forward, singing a little diddy about walking by faith and not by sight. Looking at those who have gone before me, Noah for example. God's assignment for him was to build a huge boat in the desert. It didn't make sense to anyone watching him. He must have received quite a bit of ridicule and yet he pressed on. He remained faithful to his calling, through the long hard days. I pray that that would be the story of my life as well.

The Mountains Melt Like Wax.....

I'm heading into the 40 day stretch before take-off. Keyser, West Virginia is beckoning me, Jesus is calling me to draw nearer to Him. Excitement fills me as I dream about this new location and the new ministry. In the midst of all the anticipation, I am looking for a miracle. I'm not sure where its going to come from, or what will bring about this breakthrough, but I'm walking forward. I'm needing to raise $800 in monthly support and as of now, I have no committed supporters. And yet I continue to press on, trusting that God is going to open doors for me; that as I walk with Him, He'll get me to where He wants me to be.

I received a prophetic word in my inbox the other day. It's title caught my attention: 24 Days of Intense Change. The word is from a man named Chuck Pierce. As I read through it, I felt like he was accurately describing my situation. I've decided to take the next 3 days to fast and pray. I need to maintain my focus on Him, to remind myself of the words He's already spoken and to seek Him for the strategy for the remainder of my stay in Minnesota.
These past couple months I've seen God work in unbelievable ways in the lives of my friends. He's beaten the odds in a few different health situations where the people weren't supposed to pull through and yet they are alive and well today. If He can do that in their lives, I know He is able to open up the floodgates and pour out everything that I need.
Will you join me in prayer as well? I need an army of warriors around me, so I don't sink into discouragement and doubt. Also, if God speaks anything to you regarding my situation, please share it with me. I'm thankful for your partnership. Let's witness together the miracles that God wants to perform.

The Gift of Gratitude

There are days that seem wrapped in fancy paper with a bow of ribbon on top. Finishing it off with a smile, I look up at the One that I love in utter thankfulness and pour out my adoration upon Him.

A lovely blue sky greeted me as I awoke this morning. It was bound to be a great day in the neighborhood. The phone rang and I heard my sister Emily's voice on the other end! She just became a mommy last Wednesday and I got to hear about all the new changes that her daughter Zoe has brought along with her. Right now I will take the time to insert that I have the most beautiful niece in the world. I'm not biased or anything. After a lovely conversation, I enjoyed a perfect bowl of oatmeal and some peace and quiet on the porch. Hummingbirds came to speak with me as bumblebees danced around me. I just took in the beauty of the moment. Shortly afterward, my sister Amy arrived. It was time to trek out to our favorite beach and enjoy the summer sun. While basking in the heat of the day, Amy and I received an unexpected gift. A young girl woke up this morning with the desire to pass out ice cream cones at the beach. Her parents purchased a couple boxes of Drumsticks and she walked around, handing them out to the sunbathers. How sweet is that!! After a quick dip in the water, dark clouds began to loom overhead. Trying to avoid a shower, we quickly bolted towards the car. Next stop....Sebastian Joe's (our favorite ice cream shop.) One ice cream cone just wasn't enough :) Since we hadn't been there in about five years, the exact location had slipped our minds. Seeing a woman gardening at the side of the road, we asked for her help and surprisingly received great directions. That hardly ever happens! Walking into the shop, our faces glowed with anticipation. What should we order this time? As we discussed our plan of action, all of the sudden.....BOOM!! Then, no electricity. A power line had fallen across the street. Pitch black. The manager locked the door and gave everyone inside free ice cream. What a treat!! After savoring our second dessert of the day, we stopped into a fun clothing/housewares store. With prices sky high, we had no intention of making a purchase. We explored, as if in a museum. Then, with rain racing down, we headed back to my house for some chick flicks. On our way, we had a change of plans. My brother-in-law Jadon invited Amy and I out to Olive Garden for dinner. Of course we accepted. Everything tasted amazing....real food after a double dose of sugar. During our meal, we came up with the brilliant idea to play games that night. With sirens singing over us and lightning decorating the sky, I played my first three games of Ticket to Ride. I had no chance of winning against my two competitive opponents, but that didn't matter a bit to me. I sipped on my coffee and just took in every laugh and look of concentration.
It was just one of those days that every step I took, I felt the delight of my Daddy. His heart towards His children is so beautiful. Keep your eyes open and you'll discover the God-given surprises in each day.

A Place to Rest My Head.....

How would you describe home? What image first pops into your mind? Do you see a white picket fence surrounding a two story house? Do you smell that homemade apple pie just coming out of the oven? Do you hear the laughter as a family shares the highs and lows of their days?
These past 8 years I've resided in dorm rooms, tents, houses, apartments, and have practically lived in a 15 passenger van twice for two month stretches. Though living a mobile life isn't always easy, I consider myself blessed to have been so well traveled. I remember one morning, while camping in the mountains of Romania, I peeked my head out of the tent only to find a handful of stray cows. For a week I showered under a waterfall and found myself responsible for five kids who were accustomed to living on the streets. Or there's always the lullaby of the ambulance that I fell asleep to almost every night in college. It didn't help that we lived just down the street from a hospital. I miss sitting on the roof of my dorm and watching the fireworks from Navy Pier.
And I will never forget the huge Texas sky. I've never seen a sunrise or sunset that could compare with those in Garden Valley. I became a morning person, with my alarm set for 5:50 AM, just to see the darkness fade away and to watch the glorious splash of colors that would stretch across the horizon.
My favorite question over the years has been, "So what is your address these days?" They write it down in pencil, knowing it's likely to change sooner or later. Some people have stayed in the same location for 25 or 50 years. I feel like God has given me a pioneer spirit. He plants me in a place for a season and then taps me on the shoulder and says it's time to go somewhere new. Goodbyes are never easy, and yet, it seems that at the next stop, a new family greets me. In the adjustment phase I relearn what it means to cling to God. He is my home, His presence my address.

Before and After

One day, it seems like ages and ages ago, a young woman, courageously left home and family and stepped into an unknown adventure. She boiled over with excitement at the thought of what was to come. International locations, feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, playing with orphans on the side of the road; these are the images she carried in her imagination. Little did she know what her Father had in store for her. You see, behind those starry eyes, in the very depths of her being, lay a heart bruised in places, shattered in other spots. A fear camped out there often, paralyzing her steps, silencing her voice. Her Father had eyes to see more than just the poor and impoverished. He saw the pain of His daughter and He brought her on a journey of healing.
That girl described was me. At 20 years old I boarded a plane, destined for Texas, fully anticipating a life changing adventure and yet having no idea what I was getting myself into. I had registered to do a Discipleship Training School (DTS) at the Youth With a Mission (YWAM) base in Garden Valley, TX. I remember clearly our first night at the base. Every Sunday night all of the staff and students would gather together and worship God and pray and share testimonies. Sometimes missionaries from other nations would come and tell us about what God was doing in their neck of the woods. Anyways, on that particular evening, they had all of the new students come onto the stage and say their name and where they were from. I felt my stomach do flips at the thought of speaking in front of this crowd, even for only five seconds. Then in the classroom with the other 11 DTSers, there I sat, not wanting to speak much, hoping not to draw too much attention to myself. I had been hurt before in this setting and tried to avoid a repeat at all costs. During the 3 months that followed, God brought me back to my darkest hours and showed me where He was when I felt my world caving in. When I had cried, He held me, shedding His own tears. The staff members in my school helped lead me down a path of forgiveness towards those who spoke words that crushed me. I drew closer to God and heard Him singing songs of love over me. He cut those chains of fear off my life and set me free. I never knew freedom could taste so good. I was no longer just reading the Bible, but it was speaking to my heart on a very personal level. Hope started to flourish within me as I experienced God's transforming power in my own life. By the time those first 3 months ended, I felt equipped. As we headed off to the midwest and Hong Kong, I took with me a story of Christ's love and the testimony of its power to heal and change someone from the inside out. The girl who could barely say her name in front of a crowd back in March, was leading worship and speaking in front of churches by the end of June.
Now it's come full circle. As I head out to West Virginia this fall, I will be one of those staff members of a DTS. I will, with the Holy Spirit's guidance, take these students I'm given on a journey closer to the heart of their Savior. Believe it or not, I will even be doing a little bit of teaching. I'm buckling up, not knowing what God is about to do, but knowing with all of my heart that I want to be a part of it.

Autumn Musings

Just sitting here, savoring the moment. It's starting to dawn on me how quickly things are getting ready to change. It's just like the autumn leaves. One day they are an emerald hue and then morning arrives, only to greet you with a whole spectrum of colors. In a little less than two months, I'll look out the window and be momentarily startled to find mountains. Then I'll stop and gaze in utter amazement at their beauty. One foot is here in Minnesota and one is preparing to take the leap over to West Virginia and a whole new chapter of my life.
In the here and now, I choose to be thankful for the little things. Snapshots that will travel with me: morning coffee on the front porch with my family, accompanied by lively conversation and the occasional hummingbird. I'll also take those rainy afternoons that found my sister Amy and I sprawled out on the sofa, watching Anne of Green Gables. or there's always cooking my favorite Filipino food alongside of my mom and sharing memories. These are my treasures to take with me to the great unknown.
God is leading me forward, prodding me along with an excited grin upon His face. I grip on to His outstretched hand. Come what may, I know that my Father is with me and He'll never let go!